Failure

I haven't been updating because I'm consumed by guilt. I did not stick to the Whole30. Once again, it shows that cheats are not helpful. I'm addicted to sugar. I need to quit cold turkey.

Having said that, I ate all but 4 cookies from a box of Thin Mints today. That's, like, 40 cookies.

The worse I feel, the more junk I eat, and the worse I feel. I feel absolutely gross. And sad. And disappointed.

I need to pick a new start date. I need this detox.

WholeTuesday

[END BLOG]


Just kidding. I've totally blown the Whole30, but I'm a believer. I want to tell you what I'm eating and how I'm feeling (warts and all), to prove to myself that even with the occasional indulgence, I can be a healthier person, with healthy routines. So...

• Breakfast: Two over-medium fried eggs atop 1 cup spinach and raw baby carrots. Coffee, black.
• Lunch: ...........................SPINACH SALAD! with chicken apple sausage and Granny Smith apple chunks.
• Dinner: TBD will edit tonight
• Snacks: Almonds. 1/2 of that Drifters bar I wrote about the other day. 1 oz of champagne.

Notes:

Windy last night and this morning. I blame the beer.

Still bloated.

The Drifters bar tasted, um, not as delicious as I remembered. I'm sad. Edit: and nauseated about 10 minutes after eating. Argh.

WholeMonday

• Breakfast: 2 over-medium fried eggs over pot roast veggies, sprinkled with pistachios. THIS SOUNDS DISGUSTING (and didn't look much better), but it was delicious. I devoured it. Coffee with coconut milk.
• Lunch: Spinach salaaaaaaaaaaaad with pot roast meat and veggies. A medium Macintosh apple.
• Dinner: TBD I'll edit this tonight. Leftover pot roast and veggies. (Surprised?)
• Snacks: FAIL: almonds. 1 hazelnut Lindt truffle. 1 beer. A handful of pretzels and onion dip.

Notes:

Head aches.

A student brought me a favorite sweet (Nestle Drifters - a British candy bar). It's tacked to my bulletin board. When can I eat it?

I'm feeling pretty low about my poor choices last night, but I'll give myself a break. I'm going to not so much "start again" tomorrow, but I'm going to celebrate my good choices from today and make more good choices tomorrow.

Whole30 Two: Days.... Oh shoot.

Saturday:

• Breakfast: Omelet with chicken apple sausage. Spinach. Coffee with coconut milk.
• Lunch: Nothing? Almonds?
• Dinner: Whole30 Two *KAbOOM* I went to our minister's anniversary party at church. Knowing there were going to be delicious things to eat, I texted Stacy and begged for her permission to stray. Fortunately, she was hoping to do the same - Just for the evening. I enjoyed a lot of non-compliant things, including cheese cubes, stuffed mushrooms, white wine (thanks, MIL!), mini vegetable spring rolls, chicken satay, chocolate brownies (yes plural), etc. On my way home, I stopped at the grocery store (11 pm shopping - what what), and I loaded up on good (read "healthy") food.............................. and a package of Swiss Cakes which I ate in the car.

Sunday:

• Breakfast: Omelet with broccoli, tomatoes, and mushrooms. Fresh fruit cup. Coffee, black.
• Lunch: I never remember these weekend lunches!
• Dinner: Compliant pot roast with sweet potatoes, onions, parsnips, and carrots. Sweet potato chips. (*small explosions* for non-compliancy) Two spoonfuls of chocolate coconut milk "ice cream." OMG.

Notes:

Well. Obviously.

If this was my first Whole30, I'd start again, but I deliberately chose bad things fully knowing I would recommit on Monday. I would NOT recommend that for first-timers. I'll start eating Whole30 again on Monday, but readers should note that this is no longer a Whole30. There are no cheats on a real Whole30, for good reason.

I bloated up like a beached dead fish in the summer.

Whole30 Two: Day 11

• Breakfast: Repeat of yesterday's breakfast
• Lunch: Spinach salad (surprised?) with chicken apple sausage and carrots. A giant Macintosh apple.
• Dinner: Huge sweet potato with ghee and S&P. I forget the rest. 2 fried eggs? I remember enjoying it. Tim had french toast. Lo... God, did I even feed her? Of course I did, but I don't remember what it was.

Notes:

I feel rested. And kind of happy. 

I've been writing in my notebook. Journally things. Lists. Craft ideas.

My skin's clearing up. The bump is no bigger than a pinhead now.

There's a free app called "The Gratitude Habit," and it's a nice little intro to a simple practice of gratitude. For a few nights in a row, now, I've been taking a moment to inventory at least three "What went well" things from my day. It's been really nice. What a good way to close the day. I love how Whole30 has a little bit of static electricity to it. Other commitments cling to it and before you know it, you're really on track to a more wholly wholesome life. That's not to say that I don't have a diary full of "5 good things" lists already, but making it a daily intention, with emphasis on making the "what went well" come alive in your imagination to really imprint it upon your mind has added something nice.

Whole30 Two: Day 10

• Breakfast: 2 chopped HB eggs, salsa, carrots. Coffee with unsweetened coconut milk.
• Lunch: Spinach salad with 2 chopped HB eggs, pistachios. Sweet potato chips. 1/2 large Macintosh apple.
• Dinner: Sliced chicken apple sausage lightly sauteed in coconut oil. Sweet potato rounds, roasted w/s&p. Frozen blueberries in coconut milk (meh).

Notes:

Whoa! I feel GREAT! Overall, I'm satisfied with my meals. My taste buds are really waking up. My head is clear. I've probably lost 5 lbs. 

The bump on my neck is nearly gone.

My skin is not clear. I have blemishes under my nose from the constant use of tissues with lotion on them.

I've been shopping around on Pinterest for some new recipes. I'm excited to make Apple Bumpkin Bake this weekend (http://www.thefoodieandthefamily.com/2012/07/01/apple-bumpkin-breakfast-bake/), among other things found on other Whole30 blogs.

Whole30 Two: Day 9

• Breakfast: 1egg omelet with roast beef and green peppers. Coffee, black.
• Lunch: Spinach salad with leftover ranch chicken and sweet potatoes and carrots. Macintosh apple. Black cherry seltzer.
• Dinner: Grilled sirloin strip and green beans. Monkey salad (minus coconut flakes). 

Notes:

Holy fullness, Batman! After my meals, I feel quite full. There's a distinct difference today!

Cheerfulness is aaaaalmost here. I can feel it casting some sunshine over my cloudy days. 

The bump on the nape of my neck is reduced by half. Still not a zit. I'm not concerned, so long as it is getting smaller.