Gluten Trial Day 2

Woke up very hungry, and something is irritating my right tear duct. It feels plugged.

• Breakfast: Two eggs fried in ghee, sauteed spinach, some canteloupe, coffee with coconut milk
• Snack: Almonds
• Lunch: Spinach salad with two HB eggs, broccoli, black olives, and balsamic vinegar, three sourdough pretzel bites
• Tired in afternoon
• Some eye strain, but I think it's unrelated.
• Snack: Two M&Ms and a few pistachios
• Dinner: Steak and steamed broccoli. OH MY GOD. SO DELICIOUS.

Notes:

Fairly good mood.

I enjoyed the M&Ms more than I ever have. Did they always taste so awesome? Strange/good bit: I was satisfied after 2. (It helps that they're Lola's poo-poo reward, so we have to make sure she that doesn't see us pilfer any and that they're always in stock. Someday, someday, she'll earn one.)

Zit (Wanda?).

Itchy scalp.

I'm trying not to read about symptoms of gluten sensitivity, but I know a little. I'm worried about psychosomatic problems. I'll just post my experience here, and perhaps do another trial in a week to see if anything is consistent. For now, the verdict is still out. Too many variables.

Lola is starting to refer to food she sees as "mom's" or "dad's." Spinach: "mom's." Pretzels: "dad's."

Gluten Trial Day 1

• 8 AM Breakfast: Applegate roast beef, raw bell peppers, whole grain melba toast, coffee with coconut milk
• Noticed foggy feeling around 10.
• 3 PM Lunch: Spinach salad with carrots, HB eggs, pistachios, evoo, s&p. One serving of Snyders of Hanover's sourdough pretzels.
• Slight headache around 4:22. (Maybe from reading.)
• Yawning around 6. Very drowsy.
• 9 PM Dinner: Spaghetti with chicken and spinach. Tangerine.
• Woke with headache in the middle of the night.

Notes:

I forgot to take my medicine this morning. This may explain all of the symptoms above. What a waste of a trial day!

Irritable in evening. Failed to snap out of it, except with Lo.

Lazy Mama's Whole30 Summary

Go, Me! 30 consecutive healthy-eating days have passed, and I feel like a champion!

Looking back to my first post, I see that my #1 motivation was finding a magic food portal to the kingdom of energy, focus, and well-being. (Can you tell I've been watching "Once Upon a Time"?) Didn't really happen. At least, I don't think so. I feel good, physically. Mentally... I'm still the same. Boo.

I also hoped to lose weight, shop locally, feed my family healthier food, and model good behavior for my daughter. That all happened, so here's to small victories.

What I Did

• For 30 days, I ate three meals of protein, vegetables, and healthy fats, in the proportions dictated by It Starts With Food. 
• I abstained from dairy, legumes (including peanut butter), sweeteners, gluten, soy, alcohol, and vegetable oils (except canola - on occasion).
• I went to the local farmer's market and Whole Foods almost weekly to get fresh produce. 

What I Didn't

• I didn't make my own mayo and instead chose store-bought mayo with canola oil (but no sugar and soy, etc). Canola oil is a "no" on Whole30.
• I didn't always buy grass-fed or pastured meats, although I did buy these more often than I ever have before (which was never), and I always bought wild-caught fish.
• I didn't always sit down for my meals. More often than not, I ate breakfast in the car.
• I didn't always buy in-season or local produce.
• Occasionally, I ate off-schedule or out-of-proportion and suffered the consequences of hunger, mood swings, and dizzy spells.
• I slipped up with one bite of banana bread and one, doneness-test pasta shell.
• I ate small snacks of nuts or fruit most afternoons.

How I Felt

• I felt good about my self-discipline. I just jumped in and stuck to it! Believe me, I'm not often like that.
• I enjoyed what I was eating. In the absence of junk, good-for-me food tasted better and better as the month went on.
• I feel awake, for the most part.
• I felt satiated. 
• I lost weight. Probably 5-10 lbs, but I don't step on a scale unless I'm at the doctor's office. I'm just guessing, based on the looseness of my pants.
• My mysterious breast soreness disappeared.
• Some new intestinal weirdness is happening. I haven't figured it out, but I'm working on it.

How I Didn't Feel

• I never felt the Tiger Blood or super-focus. 
• I never had a miracle skin transformation (although, my skin did stop itching so much).
• No niggling long-term health problems disappeared. Fortunately, I don't have any major health issues, so I can live with these.

What I Learned

• I can do something new and difficult, if I set my mind to it, even with a toddler, a full-time job, a long commute, and a fixed-income. It helped to have the support and witnessing eyes of my dear friends, especially Ms. Stacy.
• My stomach ailments are primarily caused by one or more of the things I've left out. I very rarely felt bloated, constipated, or windy while doing Whole30.
• While on Whole30, I noticed my impulse to thoughtlessly toss any loose food into my face any time of day, when I'm cooking, when I'm feeding Lo, when I'm at the office, when I'm cleaning, when I'm driving, etc.
• Sweet potato chips are a food-with-no-breaks for me.
• Spinach and leftovers are my friends.
• Yogurt, soy milk, cereal, whole wheat bread, etc. I'd rather eat any of them and skip my veggies, so for now, they are out out out. I'm choosing vegetables.
• Just to be honest, healthier food doesn't taste better than junk. It's not packed with sugar and MSG and salt and other evil yumminess. As I said above, I'm making a choice to eat healthy.
• I don't want to be a blogger. I can't pick a tense and stick with it, and I bore myself.

The Kid and the Husband

• Since I cook dinner, my husband accidentally benefited from the Whole30. He was glad that we were eating more vegetables while not getting too adventurous with the spices and such. No curries for Tim. 
• I don't think I've inspired him to quit smoking. =(
• Lola is going through a phase. She's avoiding vegetables right now. I've decided not to force her to eat healthy things, because I want her to choose to. I'm going to continue to offer her food from my plate and introduce new things, and hopefully someday, she'll follow my lead.
• My husband and I have decided not to take yogurt, milk, and grains out of Lo's diet right now. We're going to go whole fat, whole wheat though.  We're cutting out legumes as much as possible. After this jar of peanut butteris empty, Lo will try almond or sunflower butter. 

What's next?

• More of this. I plan to continue eating this way, after I do a trial reintroduction of gluten. I already know about dairy, and the literature on legumes is enough to convince me to keep them out of regular rotation. Gluten, however, is still a mystery to me. I'd like to know once and for all.
• I plan to let myself eat non-compliant food on special occasions. I know I'll feel very bad afterwards, but this has been my relationship to ice cream for 20 years, so I can do it with crackers, cheese, sugar, etc.
• If things get out of balance, I'll go back and do the Whole30, with no cheats, and begin again.
• As of last night, though, I realized that my family will not be as supportive of this diet now that the Whole30 novelty is gone. I'll have to make a better effort to make our meals delicious. I admit, some of the things I made, especially the fish dishes and some of the veggies, were not very tasty. I'm not a cook, but I am The Cook. I still control the menu, and I vow to keep making healthy food.

DAY 30: THE END... or is it?

• Breakfast: Egg and stuffed pepper scramble. 1/4 Bartlett pear. Coffee with coconut milk.
• Lunch: Leftover pork and mash. Banana. Cashews.
• Dinner: Egg salad. Sweet potato. Apple chips and pistachios. (Tim got delivery: a meat ball sub. He wasn't feeling the Chicken Fajitas that had been scheduled for dinner.)

Notes:
Sad food for the last day, but that's okay.

I am certainly going to continue with the diet, after I do a trial with gluten.

Summary to come...

Day 29

• Breakfast: 2 HB eggs, 1/2 sweet potato, handful of cashews, coffee with about 1/8-1/4 cup of coconut milk
• Lunch: Stuffed pepper, banana, cashews
• Dinner: Seasoned cubed pork (pastured pigs), cauliflower and turnip mash

Notes:
Major Win! Lola loved the meat from the stuffed peppers, so she got a nice helping of protein and veggies. She tried the pepper itself, in a distracted moment, and although she said "no like it," she no spit it out.

Some stomach discomfort in the afternoon. May just be that time of the month.

Feeling very motivated, although not very focused.

I'm beginning to think that "focus" is not a realistic expectation for me. Perhaps I'm just always going to be distracted.

Days 27 & 28

Saturday, Day 27
Breakfast: 2 over-medium fried eggs over 1/2 sweet potato
Lunch: Leftover tilapia and 1/2 sweet potato
Dinner: Left over stew and green beans

Sunday, Day 28
Breakfast: 2 fried eggs and 1 cup of raw carrots
Lunch: Egg salad, fruit, salad, olives
Dinner: Turkey and veggie stuffed bell peppers

Notes:

I slipped up on Sunday and had a little morsel of banana bread at Stacy's daughter's birthday party. It was good. Not gonna lie.

Day 26

• Breakfast: 2 eggs, scrambled with one small green pepper. Clementine. DD Coffee, black (very good this time!)
• Lunch: Leftover Tomato Basil Chicken and spinach salad
• Dinner: Pistachio crusted tilapia and roasted broccoli.

Notes:

"Shizam" has entered my internal dialogue. Welcome, dear word-friend!

I actually don't miss the booze. I might enjoy a nice cold ale once in a while, though.

Light-headed in afternoon and evening. Irritable.

Day 25

• Breakfast in the car: 2 scrambled eggs, generously seasoned. 1/2 small green pepper, 1/2 avocado, 1 plum tomato, cashews. Coffee with coconut milk.
• Lunch: Spinach-cha-cha salad with tuna, black olives, evoo, carrots
• Dinner in the car: 3 slices of Applegate roast beef w/mayo, raw carrots, cauliflower, and broccoli, and a handful of pistachios

Notes:

Reading ISWF is helping me through the cravings. This is a lifestyle change, I hope, not a 30 day cleanse. The science behind all of these restrictions is helpful.

Feeling AWAKE! I went to sleep late, woke up normal time. I should be tired, but I'm not. Whoo hoo.

God bless spinach.

Tonight was Covenant Group night. One of the folks in the group went to an 8-day silent retreat. I hope I can someday find 8 days to set aside for that.

Day 24

• Breakfast: Meatball in sauce, one HB egg, carrots, coffee w/coconut milk & cinnamon
• Lunch:  Leftover slowcooker beef, spinach, black olives
• Dinner: Roast beef-wrapped spinach, cucumbers, HB egg w/mayo

Notes:

Too much beef, but it was all tasty.

Major cravings. Teeth-gritters.

I'm nervous/excited about reintroduction. I'm dying for a spoonful of my favorite Teddie peanut butter. Or a nice glass of juicy red wine.

Finished Maddaddam. Now I can get back to It Starts With Food.

Ran out of ghee. Sh#t's expensive. Gotta shop around for a more affordable brand.

Day 23

• Breakfast: 2 HB eggs, 1 small green pepper (sliced), Bulletproof Coffee
• Lunch: Leftover slow cooker beef and veggies. Cucumber slices. Coconut flakes.
• Dinner: Tomato Basil Chicken, spinach, cashews.

Day 22

• Breakfast: Repeat of last night's dinner. Bullet-proof coffee (new favorite).
• Lunch: Egg and avocado salad. Steamed green beans and carrots.
• Dinner: Slow Cooker Beef with sweet potatoes, onions, celery, acorn squash, and kale. Cashews.

Notes:

CRAVINGS. I've always been triggered by what I see people eating when I'm watching a TV show, and last night was diner-based in large part. Steak fries. Pancakes. Pie. =(

Who'd have thought I'd enjoy drinking coffee with coconut oil and ghee blended into it (with a dash of cinnamon)? Bullet-proof coffee is awesome.

Day 21

Breakfast: Green pepper and Applegate roast beef scramble and coffee.

Lunch: I don't remember...

Dinner: Meatball Burgers over spinach, smothered in Rao's marinara sauce. Carrots.

Day 20

Ten days to go...

• Breakfast: 9:30AM. Applegate roast beef and green pepper scramble. Cantaloupe & bananas. Bulletproof coffee.

Lunch: I don' remember (typing this Monday).

Dinner: Two fried eggs over failed pumpkin pancakes and spinach. 

Snack: Cherry Pie Lara Bar. No more in the pantry, so I'm done indulging after this one.

Day 19

I'm happy to be doing this challenge. It's true that around Day 14, I felt like crap and was ready to give up. I'm glad I didn't, because I'm getting the hang of things, and I LIKE it. I like the food. I like feeling satiated after every meal. I like saving money by bringing my lunch to work and not ordering take-out. I like preparing and eating platefuls of vegetables in front of my daughter. (I'm hopeful that soon she'll want to eat these things, too. I just have to take the "supernormally stimulating, nutrient-poor, carbohydrate dense foods" out of her diet. Who wouldn't reach for sweet vanilla yogurt and salty, buttery crackers instead of the green beans?!)

• Breakfast: Two eggs, fried in ghee, sauteed spinach, warmed, salted mushrooms, cantaloupe and bananas. Coffee from DD (burnt-tasting, disappointing).

• Lunch: Dang. I meant to snap a photo, but I forgot. Spinach salad with tuna, carrots, cucumbers, mushrooms, evoo, S&P. McIntosh apple.

• Snack: Carrot Cake Lara Bar. Pinterest-induced craving for sweets.

• Dinner: Lemon pepper Perdue Fit & Easy chicken breasts, steamed broccoli, cashews. The whole family happily partook.

Notes:

Dinner at the table is happening more lately. Meals are sort of a central focus now, so getting a meal prepared and eaten at a decent time is important. It's a challenge, for sure. Lo and Tim get home around 5:30 and have a snack. I get home around 6:45-7 and jump into dinner prep. We eat around 7:30-8 if we're lucky. And Lo's ready for bed around 8:30 or 9. If it's bath night (every other day, for the most part), then that usually happens after I throw something in the oven. It doesn't feel like the optimal schedule, but that's how it is for now.

There was a segment on NPR last night about doctors prescribing fruits and vegetables to patients: http://www.npr.org/blogs/thesalt/2013/09/12/221757539/no-bitter-pill-doctors-prescribe-fruits-and-veggies.

After 19 days of no supernormally stimulating foods -- or almost none (ahem, sweet potato chips) -- , it has become much easier and more enjoyable to consume my vegetables and proteins. It was definitely a challenge and a learning process, and it has taken some time, but I think I'm really on board now. I really hope that I can continue these good habits outside of this 30 day challenge, and I'm convinced that this approach can really set a person up for continued success.

My complexion is not noticeably improving.

My blepharitis is not improving.

I can't tell if my hearing's improved or if I've just gotten used to not hearing well.

Very little gassiness. A little stomach pain. May have to give up coffee for a while.

Day 18

I'm not so chipper today. People are being annoying. Why am I the only one around here who thinks rules are generally something a person should follow, that they're (mostly) in place for good reason? And why am I expected to comfort and fix things when People get caught doing stuff that's not permitted?

No. Nuh-uh. No way. Not having it. You took that shit, now step in it.

Okay, fine. It's fixed, but I'm very cross with you. Go away.

• Breakfast: One hard-boiled egg, one fried egg, about a cup + of baked acorn squash. Cashews.

• Lunch: Leftover chicken from the other night plus leftover roasted veggies from last night. Pistachios.

• Dinner: Apple omelet (minus vanilla) and acorn squash + cashews. Sweet and awesome.

Notes:

Everything tastes good lately. I'm so pleased.

I'm starting to think a little about reintroduction. Dairy has always been rough on me, so I don't think I'll reintroduce that first.

Soy may be off my Okay list forever. Too much hormonal weirdness, and totally unnecessary since I'm not vegetarian. I want to try coconut aminos to see if I can create a suitable replacement for soy sauce. And I may have edamame, but only if we're going out for sushi (which is, like, once a year).

I'll probably start with gluten. I have no idea if I have problems with it, and I would definitely like to have the occasional piece of toast or something if I'm not gluten sensitive.

Mmmmm... Toast. It starts with toast. There you have it. Day 31: breakfast as usual, plus a slice of wheat toast with ghee. I'm fricken salivating at the thought.

Day 17

I can't quite say that I have boundless energy, but I'm feeling cheerful and a bit sharper. Tim cleaned the kitchen before I got home and LORD did that make a difference. My 7 p.m. reentry was downright pleasant. After getting loads of welcome home cuddles from Lo, I made progress on my housework.

• Breakfast: 3 fish cakes, 1/2 cup raw carrots, coffee with coconut milk.

• Lunch: Egg and avocado salad over spinach. Green peppers. Cantaloupe. Sooo filling! I'm actually a little over-full.

• Dinner: Grilled steak tips and roasted cauliflower & broccoli, plus a handful of cashews. Oy! Full again!

Notes:

I'm getting to a point where meals are tasting so much better than before. I am really enjoying my vegetables and proteins and fats. And coffee!

The weather today was in the upper 90s and muggy. I didn't mind, though. I love being warm! Like Stacy said, walking out of the too-cold AC and into that heat was like being wrapped in a cozy blanket.

Lo's finally healthy after colds and the broken arm. She's talking a lot more and being very affectionate. She doesn't mind well, and won't use the toilet at home, but at least she's balancing it out by being so sweet. When she's bathing, she puts a cast on me by draping wash clothes over my arm. I think she could have a future in medicine...

Day 16: Boundless Taste Buds

Well, I might not have boundless energy or tiger blood, but I have eaten some delicious, healthy things today.

• Breakfast: Sausage, pepper, mushroom scramble. Coffee with coconut milk. Cashews.

• Lunch: Leftover taco salad w/spinach, green pepper, black olives. Cantaloupe and raspberries.
  
• Afternoon coffee, black.

• Dinner: Fish cakes made with the other night's bland leftovers. I combined the cod fish with 1/2 of a small, baked acorn squash, about 1 tablespoon of coconut flour, and one egg. Fried in coconut oil. Served with sauteed spinach. Mayo for dipping. Finished up with three, tiny, locally-grown McIntosh apples, cored, peeled, cubed, sprinkled liberally with cinnamon and less liberally with nutmeg and salt, and baked with a few tablespoons of ghee in a 400 F oven for 15 minutes, tossing once. Served with coconut milk.

Notes:

My taste buds are very happy. I wish the others in my family would try these new things. But then I wouldn't have leftovers for tomorrow...

I'm feeling pretty upbeat.  Work is busy, too, so that helps.

When I'm drinking my coffee black, I feel sort of bad ass. At the same time, I feel sort of like I'm at a church meeting. So it's confusing. But I may be able to make this a lifelong habit. We'll see.

Day 15: Recommitment

I'm feeling much more motivated to finish this thing and to do it right. This evening, after Lo goes to bed, I'll  focus on finding recipes for the rest of the week.

• Breakfast was two eggs fried in ghee, wrapped around spinach, and eaten in the car like a burrito, plus about a cup of raw carrots, and a handful of almonds. I had coffee with coconut milk. I *liked* it. Honest to heaven.

• Lunch was leftover taco salad with black olives and about a cup of cantaloupe. I don't even miss the cheese, sour cream, and chips! The meat I made up with an Allrecipes taco seasoning is flavorful enough (next time, I'll reduce the salt).

• Dinner was a delicious recipe I found online at  http://menumusings.blogspot.com/2013/04/tomato-basil-chicken.html. I used coconut oil for frying, ghee for the sauce, and put a lot of Italian Seasoning in addition to the s&p on the chicken breasts. Tim had seconds! Lola liked it! I loved it, but I think I shortchanged myself on the vegetables. I should have also had a salad.

Notes:

I'm glad to be back at work.

I'm losing weight fast. My belly, once a proud pot, is now rather slack. I'm not sure what I like better: the belly that required eating better to get smaller or the belly that's going to require exercise to disappear. Exercise.... shudder.

I baked Tim chocolate cookies last night, unprompted. Why? Can I blame this on Catholicism?

Whole30 Blog: This made me SSOOMN

http://www.modgblog.com/2013/02/21/the-top-6-things-i-learned-from-whole30-and-the-top-5-recipes-that-ill-keep-cooking-and-also-fruity-pebbles-just-saying/

Day 14: Get It or Quit it

End-of-day has me feeling much differently than the beginning. I was so tired all day. I took a nap with Lola and could barely get out of bed when she woke up. I did a little Whole30 forum search and realized that my fatigue was likely caused by eating too few calories and drinking too little water. I also need to take the fats more seriously. I was thinking it was treated like a bit of an indulgence, like the fruit, but now I see that I'm not getting enough from the meats and cooking oils.

So, I'm not quitting it. I'm finally getting it. That sort of rhymes, right?

I also did not want to face the housework, but after 15 minutes of unloading and loading the dishwasher and a turn around the grocery store, I felt much less dreadful. I didn't do much more, but I felt better.

• Breakfast was a two-egg omelet with mushrooms and spinach.
• Lunch was a pork sausage patty, 1/4 avocado (blech), and I don't remember.
• Dinner was beef taco salad with orange bell peppers, salsa, and reduced-salt black olives. 

Notes:

Drink more water. Eat more fats. Do a load of darks.

Leftovers are my friend.

Day 13: Boundless Lethergy

I'm tired, but before we blame the diet, let me just say that how I feel today is not unfamiliar outside of the diet. 
I look around the house, once again covered in the fine dust of a wall torn down. 
I look at the dirty, dusty, sticky countertops. 
I look at the ever-regenerating mounds of clothing in the hampers. 
I look at the streak of crap that squeezed its way out of my daughter's diaper and onto my hands and arms,
and of course her clothes and back.
I smell the rotting strawberry and chickenmisc discards in my trash. 
It makes me so tired. It makes me want to run away.

• Breakfast was reheated eggs and a sausage patty and leftover steamed broccoli. Tea.

• Lunch as late again. I don't remember what it was because most of my mind was occupied with feeding my daughter, who like me, doesn't want to eat anything around. Whatever I ate was compliant.

• For dinner, I made this: http://lowfatcooking.about.com/od/fishdishes/r/spicerubbedcod.htm. It was suprisingly flavorless. I served it with spinach salad, which was reliably good.

Notes:

Le sigh. I am realizing that no matter what I eat, the house will not clean itself.


I hate food. I hate meals. I hate dishes. I wish I could just swallow a Jetson pill and be done with it.
Yes, I realize how selfish and awful this is in the global context.


I think I'll stop referring to the timeline. I'm definitely going through the hardest days now.

Day 12: Boundless Energy?

No boundless energy here, but I do feel okay. Alert, although not especially "sharp." I've fallen off the Whole30 path a little. My meat:vegetable:fruit ratios have been a little off, I snacked mid-morning, and I haven't been going to bed as early as I should.

(Well... I am going to bed earlier, but I'm not sleeping right away. Get your mind out of the gutter. I'm playing solitaire on my iPad. YOLO.)

• Breakfast was two eggs scrambled with steamed broccoli and a cup of Dunkin Donuts coffee (black). I under-seasoned the eggs and broccoli, so they were dull, but I kinda enjoyed the coffee. 

• I ate the rest of the bag of sweet potato chips mid-morning. Whole hog. Seriously, I can't buy those anymore.

• Lunch was another spinach salad, a locally grown Macintosh, and a handful of cashews. I put some leftover chicken thigh meat in my salad, and I tell you what: I just cannot eat that meat. I did eat the boiled egg, carrots, and cucumber and some of the spinach, but it was not as marvelous as it could have been.

• Dinner was a scrambled egg, a homemade pork sausage patty, and raw carrots.

Notes:

I feel like I'm backsliding a little. I really need to get a meal plan together to regain my confidence. 

I think I'll cut out the iPad-before-bed business.

It felt nice to go through my DD drive-thru again. I had established a Friday/payday routine where I got a "medium hot French vanilla with cream, two sugars, and two cubes of ice and a blueberry muffin" for myself and then treated the person behind me to their order. I miss that.

It was not a good night at home. I almost quit the diet because I wanted a drink so badly. Instead I drove to the grocery store parking lot to read Maddaddam. I went home and fell asleep around midnight. I dreamed I was not able to find compliant food that I wanted to eat. In my dream, I cried about it.

Day 11: The Hardest Days, Day 2

I was in full Old Mother Hubbard mode today (middle-class American-style, so really I had plenty of stuff in my cupboards). Oh, woe is me! I've nothing to eat!

Truth be told, I'm well-stocked with vegetables and protein. It's just not in easily accessible forms. I need to address this. Preparation is the key to success!

• Breakfast To-Go: 2 eggs fried in ghee, wrapped up in romaine lettuce. Strawberries. Tea.
• Lunch: I bought 2 boiled eggs and some not-completely-compliant sweet potato chips. They were made with seed oil. (Forgive me. I just needed something that crunched.) The chips were definitely "food with no breaks" for me. Compliant-ish or not, they're not a good idea for me.
• Dinner tonight was prosciutto-wrapped chicken (with Whole30 modifications) and steamed broccoli tossed in evoo and s&p. I used chicken thighs that I had intended to use in a chicken masala recipe. I had never purchased chicken thighs before, and I'm not sure I will again. Tim and I agreed that it would have been much better with chicken breast. Next time.

Notes:

Why not eat that pretzel? Why not? Why the f*ck not?! Excuse the expletive.

Mild headaches, today. One in the morning on the train, before I had my tea. And another around 4:30/5, after I had had two cups of Lady Grey. Caffeine related or coincidence?

Urges to snack are less frequent and less persistent, but not less intense. I stared down a snickers bar pretty hard today. Melissa: It. Is. Not. Food. It will make you feel BAD. And it will cost you money ( a highly successful argument for me).

Day 10: The Hardest Days, Day 1

The timeline describes how I'm feeling pretty well.

• Breakfast in the car: 2 boiled eggs, 1-1/2 roasted beets, banana, tea.
• Spinach salad magnificado (with tuna). I'm going to have to switch things up before I start hating spinach, but for now, it's my favorite go-to lunch.
• Tim made steak tips tonight. He did  his the usual way, with a marinade concocted of 15 different things, and he seasoned mine with s&p and garlic powder. I'm sure his were delicious, but mine were, too. I had sweet potatoes and a Cherry Pie Lara bar. 

Notes:

My motivation is changing. Originally, I was in it to feel sharper and healthier. Now I'm in it to show some gd self-discipline. Then, I'm going to say to my husband, "Honey, I gave up sugar - SUGAR - for a month. Surely you could give up smoking for a month." No... I won't say that, but I do hope he'll draw that inspiration from my challenge.

I went to Trader Joe's this weekend and was surprised to see all of the junk that people were buying. Whole30 is changing the way I think about what real food looks like. Just because it's organic doesn't mean it's real food.

  

Day 9: For the love of Gosling, my pants are TIGHTER, II

Yep. My pants *are* tighter. It's okay. I'm just rollin' with it.

• Breakfast: My last turkey sausage and roasted beets. Tea. What? Beets for breakfast?! Yep.
• Lunch: Spinach salad awesomeness. We had a new student gathering today, and we ordered in all sorts of sandwiches and wraps. There were chips and cookies and sodas. Wow. I couldn't have ANY of it. Later, there was another reception at a bar. I brought in a chai tea (just chai) and nursed it in the corner while everyone else got drunk. It's probably a good thing. Last year, a few sips of rum & Coke got me a little too loose and chatty. (Not that kind of loose. You know what I mean, right?)
• Dinner: I got home late, and Tim and Lo had had a frozen cheese pizza. They left all the crusts on their plates. Normally, I would eat up all their crusts (and half a pizza, yep, gross), but I just... gulp... threw it all out. I fixed myself some tuna with mayo and a Mrs. Dash of lemon pepper (I love that lady) and warmed up some leftover spaghetti squash with a good dollop of ghee. I enjoy the squash more without pasta sauce. It is not pasta. Then I had a bite of a Cashew Cookie Lara bar. It was not awesome, so a bite was all I needed.

Notes:

I'm NOT feeling sharp yet. I was totally dazed and confused today. I'm in it for the sharpness. It better happen.
I find that now that I'm not snacking, missed or late meals are a bad idea. Having a late dinner was difficult tonight. I had to give Lo a bath before I ate, and I was all stumbly on the stairs. I should have put Lo to bed right away after, but I let her play so I could eat. She came up to me and asked what I was eating. She never wants to try it, but I know she's seeing it. I do not love spaghetti squash as much as I love other squashes, but I made sure it looked like I loved it.
I'm peeing beet.

Day 8: For the love of Gosling, my pants are TIGHTER.

Not much to report. Tired. Unmotivated to do (ENDLESS) household chores.

• Breakfast: Scrambled eggs and roasted beets. Monkey salad. Yum.
• Lunch: Leftover meatball burger with pasta sauce. Spinach salad. Lo ate most of my meatball burger, so I put an egg in my salad.
• Dinner: Shrimp with snow peas and zucchini.

Notes:

I had a few "Kill ALL the things" moments today, but I'm not sure I can blame those on the diet.
I do not like shrimp. Erg.
Roasted beets are not the magic I imagined, but they are good. I'm glad I finally made them.

Day 7: I Want a Nap II

I had some tummy and abdomin pains today. Tired again. There was a pretty big thunderstorm here this morning. That didn't help.

• Breakfast was three scambled eggs and broccoli. I was sooooo full by the end! I had another cup of coffee with coconut milk. I brewed it a bit to thick. Maybe that's why my tummy hurt in the early afternoon.

• For lunch, I had prosciutto-wrapped pear slices and some sweet potatoes. Very full again!

• For dinner, I made meatball burgers. Tim's had breadcrumbs and romano. Mine had coconut flour and no cheese. Tim grilled them and we ate them with leftover pasta sauce and sauteed spinach. Very good! I had a handful of raw cashews, too.

Notes:
I don't love prosciutto.
I was mega bloated in the evening. I guess this is natural, according to the timeline. At least it wasn't painful bloating.
I was light-headed in the evening.
My ears are still plugged.

Day 6: I Just Want a Nap

How is this theme unlike the theme of every other day in my life, since I became a mother? It's not. Like always, I yearned for a nap as soon as I rolled out of bed.

• After getting Lo a bowl of Multigrain Cheerios and some yogurt, I diced up a green pepper, scrambled a couple of eggs in ghee, heated up some sweet potatoes, and sat down for breakfast. Yum. Green peppers are so sweet and lovely. I had a cup of coffee with coconut milk, and I actually enjoyed it! I'm not sure what was different, if anything. I guess I'm getting comfortable with unsweetened drinks. Tim commented that my breakfast smelled good, so I made him some scrambled eggs with peppers, too. Lo declined a bite from my plate. She was too busy putting yogurt on her belly.

• I had a late lunch, around 4:30. Two sausage patties and broccoli. 

• Around 9, I had a handful of cashews and coconut flakes. I skipped dinner.

• Around 10:30, I broke down and had a Lara bar. Then, I installed a pair of window blinds.

Notes:
I think I made it through the Kill ALL the Things phase without actually feeling that way. I'd feel really great about it, if I hadn't been motivated to start this challenge because Kill ALL the Things is the way I feel quite often.

I got lightheaded around 9, but not hungry. Tim asked me to go get him a burger and fries from Wendy's, and I was only slightly jealous of his fries. I regretted skipping dinner around 10:30, but it was too late to eat.

I got some ground pork from the farmer's market today, and I feel good about purchasing local and ethical (the pigs are happy pigs).  I also bought beets, corn (for the fam), apples, shallots, bagels and donuts (again for the fam), and a mango lassi for Lo.